On Television

Undies month is all about Underachievers making a whopping, astronomical, impressive, and hard earned $1. Yep, One Dollar. Screw the Apprentice tryouts, why the heck would I want to work that hard? The last thing I need is a Donald Trump pushing me to promote some lame Domino’s pizza bullshit. I wanna sit on my ass in my lazy boy while I achieve a much more credible fame, that of a underachiever.

I'll admit it, I have found a new guilty pleasure in Beauty and the Geek. This isn't the first reality TV show that I watch. I also like other shows like Survivor, The Contender, Real World/Road Rules Challenge, The Biggest Loser and The Joe Schmo Show. One of the things about reality shows that makes them so compelling to me is that, for the most part, they are filled with real people; people who are capable of doing tremendous things and who also have the tendency to do tremendously stupid things. And let's face it, if you were responsible for casting the participants in such a show, you'd choose the people who get reactions.

In our blog entry of June 2, we were remiss in mentioning that the May 2005 issue of Oprah Winfrey's O Magazine named St. Lucia and the Pitons as one of the "Five Places to see in Your Lifetime".

After the feedback and ongoing banter about ABC’s “LOST", my wife and I have jumped on the phenomenon and immersed ourselves into this amazing drama! Now, I’m not sure why we didn’t start watching this in the beginning, probably due to our already large list of “Must See TV” (sorry NBC, I’m using that in the global sense, not so much just about Thursday nights anymore, haven’t seen an episode of ER in almost a year probably).

Our usual line-up included: House (GREAT show!! catching up on repeats), American Idol, Amazing Race, Survivor, CSI (Vegas is still best, then New York, then Miami), Without a Trace, Joan of Arcadia (CBS, what are you thinking cancelling this show, can’t wait for the seasons on DVD), and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition.

But go take a straw poll of your office and see if ANYONE other than a fellow news junkie has a clue what the hell you’re talking about. I’m betting you’ll be met with blank stares. Now ask them who won American Idol. Sad. Pathetic and sad.

Okay, on a sidenote, today is Tuesday! What’s the big deal about Tuesday? Well, I just watched Tuesdays with Morrie on Hallmark Channel on Friday, directed by the very influencial celebrity Oprah Winfrey. Hallmark rocks and Oprah’s great too. And just so happens that today is a Tuesday, and it was actually… more touching that a great Hallmark drama.

Hong says that I think too much. Maybe I'm like Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, where I'm constantly waiting for the "misfortune" to happen, cos I'm certain it will. But when it does, I'll be really upset about it.

Allowing for-profit media to supply us with our information, our young people with their education is a mistake. Why? For-profit networks are in one business: making money. They show the public what will make it happy, like the quest to become this year's American Idol, or man-on-the-street-interviews with up to the minute responses to the shocking outcome of the Michael Jackson case. They don't show is what we need to know, like the story of the woman who was gang-raped in Pakistan as a punishment for a crime that her twelve-year-old brother committed, and is currently being denied the ability to travel to America to speak out about it. They don't show stories about that because suddenly your need to try the new flavor of toothpaste or test drive the new model of SUV with lowlow interest rate pales in comparison to this woman's plight for gender equality, for social justice. Instead, we watch tanned/plucked/cosmetic surgeried/slim/"sexy" news anchors who have never been to Iraq smile over stories about waterskiing squirrels, Tom Cruise's latest engagement, and America's latest "victory" in Iraq. They gloss over the 2-3 suicide bombings a day, they don't report the stories of our soldiers who were supposed to be through with their service that are now being sucked back into combat through the stop-loss back door and are killed in combat for a war they were not supposed to be a part of. They don't tell us that in two years our public broadcasting organizations will likely be left on their own to sink or swim.

The Flight: Yeah so I had my own personal TV with a variety of those high calibur movies- X men, Coach Carter, and of course, The Pacifier, starring Vin Diesel (not Vinh but it did remind me of him...kidding). But yeah... 12 hours in an airplane isn't too bad when I got to watch SCrubs a lot (with the'ol 700m of course) and i had my iriver... so it was pretty sweet.

Eva Longoria is on the fast track to stardom with her return to primetime as the star of the new ABC series Desperate Housewives, where she portrays Latin sexpot Gabrielle Solis. Just voted by Variety as one of the “Ten New Faces to Watch” this Fall, as well as one of USA Today’s “Fall TV’s Hot 11″ and TV Guide’s “New Faces of Fall,” Longoria also co-stars in the recent CBS movie-of-the-week The Dead Will Tell.

I am having a blast watching these 6 celebs dance it out every week. They started out with 6 stars who are: John O'Hurley Elaine's boss Jay Peterman from Seinfeld, Trista Sutter from the Bachelorette, Joey McIntyre formerly of New Kids on the Block, Evander Holyfield the boxer, Rachel Hunter former SI model and ex wife of Rod Stewart & Kelly Monaco from General Hospital. They trained for 6 weeks before the 1st episode and each week they compete against eachother, they have 6 days to train during the week now for each episode that airs on Weds @ 9pm on ABC. I love this show, I think its brilliant.... its American Idol for dancing!!

American Express ads are particularly annoying for me. I can understand when an underworked has-been celebrity peddles something (ala Kristie Alley and Pier One), but when I see Ellen Degeneres (who has a show now), Robert DeNero (doubtful he’s hurting) and Jerry Seinfeld pushing a credit card so more can spend what they don’t have, it makes one wonder if there is any line some “entertainers” won’t cross for more money.

Hilton, star of Fox’s “The Simple Life,” had this advice: “Be very careful not to look in the camera. Always be camera-ready. And don’t trust the producers,” her mother said.

i can’t understand how people are so stupid as to think what they see on tv has ANY bearing to reality. the possibility that jurors demand forensic evidence because of csi’s influence sounds crazy, but it’s a legit fear. these people think grey’s anatomy and er are really what hospitals are like. or la law, ally mcbeal, the practice, boston legal are really what being a lawyer is all about. SO MORONIC. ugh.

I’ve previously mused about an Oprah Winfrey candidacy (trust me, I have no doubt she leans to the left), now throw in this stuff about her being a Zulu descendant and the most powerful person in entertainment.

While I don't watch Reality TV, it has got to stop now. Why? Because it is now cutting into my television shows. Don't you remember television shows? They're the half-hour segaments of comedy that help you escape reality. And they're the hour long dramas that educate us about society without us even realizing it.

I’m a superhero fan like many of you out there. I’m not quite as hardcore as some, in fact…. I’m not hardcore at all when it comes to comic book anything. My personal fav has always been Superman, and yeah…. I even like Smallville.

Just watched the Oprah Winfrey show, someting I always indulge myslef when I'm on holiday in Sweden... Anyways I was completely blown away, on the show Greg Behrendt, the author of "He's just not that into you" talked about his book and explained a few things about guys. I was chocked because the guy was so right, basically saying that if a guy is interested he will call, he will not text and he will NEVER be too busy to see you!!! The fantastic thing is that this guy is not a psychologist blabbering on and on about some freudan shit, he's just a normal guy who used to pull the stunts that guys still are and have been doing for years. I am going to order this book this second and give one to all my single girlfriends because this book is going to save us so much time, and so many brunches of confusion trying to figure out what guys really mean! Its like the Enigma machine of dating and relationships but in paperback format!

I keep forgetting to mention that I was watching Roswell the other day and who appeared on the screen? None other than Logan Echolls from Veronica Mars. The actor Jason Dohring has a somewhat pivotal role in the arc where Alex (Colin Hanks) dies in Season 2. He plays the delivery guy who is the last one to see him alive. Also, he was the original “Coop” from Once and Again the first time the character appears. I loved that show! But then Adam Brody played Coop the rest of the series. And while I’m on a roll, do you remember who played Tad on Once and Again? It was James Lafferty who now plays Nathan Scott from One Tree Hill. I would’ve never expected that move. Both Coop and Tad were very peripheral roles. But they got everyone to where they are now.

I’m zeroing in on who I want to be when I grow up.

Last night I watched Ellen Degeneres’ new stand up show on Comedy Central. A lot of her act was devoted to talking about “meeting God.”

And I thought, how sad, that all of these people will listen to HER talk about God in jest, but won’t listen to a dynamic preacher or evangelist talk about God.

The cruise ship rocked by a 70-foot wave in April was put into harm’s way when its owners ordered it to race back to New York for a photo shoot with “The Apprentice,” according to a $100 million lawsuit filed on passengers’ behalf yesterday.

The 24-year-old hotel heiress, star of “The Simple Life” reality series, tells Newsweek magazine that when she was younger, “I thought it was cute to play a dumb blonde. On TV, I do it because it’s funny. I consider myself a businesswoman and a brand.”

I know a lot of people would like a chance to try out for American Idol, well in my search for places to bring you something unique I found this newsletter about aduitioning for American Idol. To be honest I can’t sing, but I love American Idol and just thought I would pass this on since it is free.

If I ever audition for American Idol, I think I’ll sing “Harden My Heart” by Quarterflash. Or “To Be With You” by Mr. Big. I was rocking both of those songs in the car today. Sadly, I’ll probably never have the chance to strut it in front of Simon & Randy (assuming Paula will be too wasted to focus on me) because in a mere 2 1/2 months I’ll be too old. Too old even for their “extended age range!”

Ever find yourself watching “Parent-Swap” “Survivor” “Amazing Race” “The Real World” “Road Rules". Or any other of these shows of supposed reality? Overtime I have wondered, what makes TV networks put this on TV? Why do people WATCH it? What makes these shows stupid and irrelevant? If its reality then why is it stupid or irrelevant. Well over the past few couch potato sessions I have had I watched some of these shows, actually most of them. I noticed the same psychological tactics used in each show all mainly the same “tactic". Here are a few that I have noticed..

I found this great article about the behind the scenes aspect of The Amazing Race.

As something of an aside, I recently learned that Alfred Gough and Miles Millar, the two men responsible for Smallville, wrote the screenplay for Spider-Man 2. Rock on, d00ds. They also penned the soon-to-be-released Herbie: Fully Reloaded. Not so cool, d00ds.

In other news, the “little something” my wife got me for our anniversary was the first season of “Scrubs” on DVD. I love that show so much I want to buy it dinner on the off chance may get to cop a feel as I’m kissing it goodnight. This means, of course, I subjected my wife to what amounted to a weekend-long “Scrubs” marathon, complete with me slapping my knee and braying like a donkey with whooping cough every two minutes.

Before I knew it, I found myself at a gay bar flirting with a Harley-riding crew-cut sporting lesbian named Elspeth. Then I went home and spent seven hours locked in a furious Sapphic bidding war on eBay for ownership of the DVD box set of The Ellen DeGeneres Show whilst listening to a recently purchased copy of Melissa Etheridge’s Greatest Hits. I can hardly bear to imagine what effect learning about The Gays has had on even younger, more innocent folk who were forced to sit down and listen to pinko glitterati propaganda during school hours....

I’ve never been a fan of Rob Scheider’s work, the majority of his films just seem a little bit too retarded for my liking. But that was until I saw The Animal. At first I thought it was going to be just another knock-off the Duece Bigalow movie, which probably is in a way if you think about — some animal kinky stuff going on there, anyway that’s not the point. The real main reason which kept me glued to the television screen watching for non-stop 90minutes of animal behaviour is by one main star in the film… no not Rob Schneider, but a beautiful survivor/actor, Colleen Haskell, and now I’m thinking, why haven’t I watched this film when it first made it’s appearance?

Yes, yes, yes. EVERYONE I ask is completely familiar with Scrubs. But, cloistered in my misanthropic hermitage, I had never seen the show and was prone to making "The Face" whenever anyone had the gall to suggest that this funny-lowest common denominator-network hit was any good. I stand corrected. Scrubs season one just came out on DVD and it was awesome! If--like me--you've been too cool for the show, you need to stop it. Right now.

Levy (DreamWorks exec) admitted that studio executives had expressed concern over Cruise's well-publicized, erratic May 23 appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, during which Cruise bounced around the room, on and off furniture, sank to the floor and repeatedly announced his love for Holmes.

Dr. Phil, meanwhile, as usual came in second to Oprah in the talk show category, jumping four percent from the previous week to a 5.9. Several other talkers also saw boosts, including Live With Regis and Kelly (3.6, up six percent), The Jerry Springer Show (2.3, up 10 percent), and The Ellen DeGeneres Show (2.2, up five percent). Among all talkers, Ellen is showing the biggest year-to-year improvement with a 10 percent increase.

In the past, I have not been much of a fan of American Idol. BUT the media attention aroused my curiosity enough to check out the final episode last night.

Then it's off to audition for the next season of 'The Apprentice.' (Just kidding, of course). Anyone that thinks they can learn business skills by watching The Apprentice probably also thinks they can learn to pilot an F-14 by watching the movie Top Gun. You don't have to own a business to learn important business skills, but that's probably the best way (and certainly better than watching TV).

It’s a great concept. TV executives would benefit, because they would gain a meaningful afterlife for all the shows they have spent millions to produce - and then broadcast only once. You would benefit, too, because if you missed some episode of “Desperate Housewives” or “The Amazing Race,” you could just hop over to your set-top box and download away. It would be like the video-swapping made possible today by software like BitTorrent, but the service would be legal.

Desperate Housewives - What can I say? This show is always unexpected and entertaining. It’s cleverly written with a cast of very different women. I watched one episode and got addicted. I like to watch this show with a glass or two of wine for some reason.

James Spader describes his "very graphic, explicit, loving" sex scene with William Shatner for an episode of Boston Legal:

During the Fall of 2004, a number of high profile reality TV flops had the mass media declaring the death of reality television. Now, due to a resurgence of interest in reality TV thanks to the success of shows like American Idol, Survivor, The Apprentice and The Amazing Race, the reports of reality TV’s demise appear to have been greatly exaggerated.

Last night Trojan ads aired in prime time television for the first time, and, by "Trojan", I assume this story isn't referring to gladiators from Troy. The ads ran on NBC and the WB Network, the latter of which aired in, get this, "Smallville". No, really.

Eva Longoria has been bombarded with hundreds of vibrators by obsessed fans. The 'Desperate Housewives' star confessed that ever since she mentioned sex toys were fun, her post box has been flooded with parcels of X-rated aids.

That’s about all of the show that I remember. Kenny G. came out and performed with the singers. I couldn’t help but wish - in an ultimate display of irony - that an elevator would fall on him. But alas - American Idol is on a budget.

Two television networks are breaking new ground tonight (June 1) and airing condom ads during prime time. A spokesman for the American Family Association says the networks are violating the public trust. NBC will be airing the Trojan condom ad during the show Law and Order after 10:00 Eastern time tonight. The WB television network will air the ad during the program Smallville after 9:00 p.m. Eastern time.

The “American Idol” seems to be a lucrative first step for all singer wannabes. To date, all of the Idol winners have made platinum records and, collectively with season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken, have sold more than 12 million albums and counting.

I love THE AMAZING RACE, and there’s a lot of stuff in this article that’s right – Team Guido were hilarious, Kevin and Drew were friendly and memorable, the ending was about as good as they come on the show, etc. But there’s a certain over the top aspect to this whole writeup that made me laugh for all the wrong unintended reasons.

GSN (Game Show Network) is in negotiations to acquire the rights to air reruns of all 7 seasons of The Amazing Race.