On Television

Anyone watch Boston Legal? He looked like he was about ready to topple over.. and I don't think it was just because he was playing a cancer patient.

Last autumn, we had simultaneous seasons of The Apprentice with Donald Trump and a one-off season with Martha Stewart. Right now, we have back to back runthroughs of season 2 for The UK Apprentice and season 5 of The US Apprentice, a far better combination of styles and approaches for the same show to compare and contrast.

I’ll admit it…I have an unhealthy obsession with The Apprentice. And after seeing Martha Stewart’s two-bit copy of the original, I was glad to hear that Donald Trump recently called her a moron.

Despite her shriveled womb and the impassioned pleas of television overlord Oprah Winfrey, 62-year-old Janise Wulf gave birth to her 12th child last Friday.

On The Oprah Winfrey Show, Oprah is starting a new segment, America’s Debt Diet. So many people are in debt, I know I am, and Oprah is trying to do her part and bring attention to this huge problem.

Are you buying yet? Or is this starting to sound a lot like Fantasy Island? These were two out of the three subplots in this week’s Boston Legal, and though I love the show and can tolerate an occasional liberal canard now and then, I’m beginning to wonder whether we’re starting to see the beginning of the end of Boston Legal. A cat on life support?

All the reality tv shows are coming back, Survivor..Amazing Race is coming up in March and others such as the latest Desperate Housewives and Grey’s Anatomy are showing. All I’m waiting for is Season 2 of Lost. I can’t wait..although I’ve seen 10 episodes of the latest season and downloading (at the moment) the 11th. Shhh.

But personally I prefer the surrealistically goofy photo inside that shows a bosom the size of a zeppelin perched on a golf course, threatening Garth Fisher, MD, who is not only a hotshot Hollywood plastic surgeon but also a guy who played a hotshot Hollywood plastic surgeon on ABC's "Extreme Makeover."

Any advice for aspiring reality TV stars?

Let’s face it: if you live in L.A. and have NOT been on a reality show, you’re not even trying!

The hardest part about cutting out these stupid shows is that it’s become a habit of mine to watch tv at 10:00…basically regardless of what’s on. it just seems like a good studybreak/chillout time.

So i dunno what i’m gonna do during 10:00… watch Scrubs maybe.

Then there was the Desperate Housewives commercial starring Shaq, Tony Hawk, and more professional athletes. It was clever and completely unexpected. And being the closet Housewives fan that I am, it also made me feel better about myself!

Earlier this week Jim beat me to a rant about the many things CBS is doing wrong with its video storefront. Charging $1.99 for an episode of Survivor that expire in 24 hours is ludicrous. It’s such a bad idea that there’s a special room reserved for CBS in the Medialoper Hall of Shame.

I originally wanted to keep it upbeat with just some great sounding pop songs (’cause I love a pretty, memorable, and singable melody) but I just can’t seem to stay away from those sad, slow, earnest songs. So it gets slower and sadder at the end. A lot of the songs were also played on One Tree Hill this season. I just can’t kick that show no matter how bad the writing can get sometimes because I adore the music that gets featured on it. The show’s second soundtrack is coming out next Tuesday and Tyler Hilton’s cover of John Waite’s “Missing You” is on it. I totally love that song!

I haven’t blogged in like ten days (I say “like” because I’m too lazy to even count the days from when I last blogged. Ten is just such a nice number). I wish I could tell you that I’ve been filling my life with something slightly more productive (well, actually, I think that making a web site/writing a blog is productive. When I do either I feel as though I have accomplished something, and that, in my excruciatingly boring book, is the definition of productive), but I really have done even LESS than I did when I was blogging frequently. I haven’t cleaned my room in weeks, I have lately been physically unable to start my homework until after 10:00 PM, and on top of it all, I’ve watched Ellen Degeneres’ HBO comedy special twice a day for the past seven days (I could have just said “week”, but “seven days” is better for emphasis).

And this isn’t just for shows like Survivor or Fear Factor… They represent them all. Trading Spaces, Extreme Makeover, Queer Eye, the Great Race, etc… I think it’s actually a really cool idea. Noah’s friend, Brian Ostrovsky came up with the idea, and he’s touring around with them.

I'm sure a lot of people have commented on the State of the Union address. Bush said this, Bush said that. Bush is an idiot. Bush is a genius. Yeah, all of that stuff is great and all, but let's talk about what really matters: the fact that Scrubs wasn't on because of the damn State of the Union. Neither was Love Monkey or Boston Legal. Come on! Really, does every network have to broadcast exactly the same thing? Can't they bid for it like they bid for the Superbowl? Something should be done to make this a more effecient, one network kind of thing. Seriously, to find something other than the State of the Union I would have had to tune into the Al Jazera.

It probably should be hard to be the producer of Survivor. Every season it seems as though you have to come up with a new gimmick or two to keep viewers interested. You've done men versus women. You've done pick teams. You've done switch teams halfway through. You've brought back people who were eliminated already in a season. You've brought back people who were eliminated the previous season. You've done an All Star Season and split the players up into four teams for that. You've even done a season where one team was voted to near extinction. You've played with all sorts of gimmicks. Then you look over at the people at The Amazing Race - you know the show that's cleaned your clock three times at the Emmys - and you see that the one and only time they tried a gimmick, in the form of The Amazing Race: Family Edition not only did their ratings go down rather than up but they were roundly criticized by fans and professional TV critics who wanted the show to go back to the way it was.