On Television

There have been several television events in the past couple of months that I have really wanted to watch, but due to our crazy schedule, it just wasn’t possible. And that made me mad. Things like the opening game for the Oakland A’s (I know they suck, but I’ve always been an A’s fan), The National Geographic’s airing (First and encour) of “The Gospel of Judas”, American Idol’s episode where Andrea Boccelli performed “live” (I don’t like American Idol, but think Andrea is freaking awesome!), etc. So we talked and we ‘worked some things out’ and got a good deal on DirecTV’s DVR service. It will be hooked up tomorrow. OOOOOHHHHH yeah! It sounds petty, but we’re happier than flies on a dung heap about being able to watch shows from TV at our leisure.

What happens when Agent Jack Bauer gets involved in a Nigerian Email Scam? We set out to answer this and have a little fun at the expense of a scammer who is probably boasting to his buddies that he's scamming some guy named "Jack Bauer" from America. Bad things happen to people who scam Jack Bauer, very bad things.

8. What celebrity hair do you like best? Least? I have no idea why but I've always liked Helen Hunt's hair not when its short but when it's long. It's not the hair color. It's just the way it is. Not a big fan of Jeff Bridge's hair. I saw him on the Ellen DeGeneres show promoting his new movie. I don't think long hair looks good on him.

Maxim had this big stunt for their n-th birthday where they put a giant cover of their latest magazine featuring Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives in a bikini in the desert. Since most of us can't afford a fly-over, Google Earth was so nice to show an airshot. This is a screenshot how you can see Eva in Google Earth.

I can see it now. The producers and powers behind the “hit” television mundramedy “Desperate Housewives” are all sitting silent around a huge table. Suddenly, one of them quietly proposes a possible solution to the problem of slowly dwindling ratings, “How about… you know… getting someone new… you know… for the cast that can… you know… actually act?”

In the US, the media giant Disney has made the bold decision to provide several big shows - Desperate Housewives, Lost, Commander-in-Chief and Alias - as free streaming video through the ABC network’s website. Don’t get too excited about it - the website will be configured to block access from outside the US, a concession to protect the established fiefdoms of conventional television distribution. But for how long?

Tonight, to counter my hatred of being home alone, I invited a friend over for dinner and we embarked on a reality tv blitz. I have just sat through 3 hours of The Biggest Loser followed by the first episode of Big Brother 6. Shocking I realise, but oh so good. My biggest shock so far on BB6 is Katie, or as we have now christened her: Train Wreck. She is frightening. I have never seen anyone appear to be so dim (and I am even including Dubya). I only hope that it is mostly a result of nerves or that girl is in real trouble.

Last Tuesday, instead of my usual SCRUBS rerun fix in the 8:30 timeslot there was some stupid celebrity cooking show hosted by the dad from GROWING PAINS. I thought to myself, “Who in the hell would want to watch this?” Well apparently the answer is nobody.

As you know, I have become addicted to American Idol this season. In the last few weeks, I have been disappointed by the song/genre restrictions on the contestants and by the performances, which have appeared more like costume karaoke parties to me. Last week, with Queen music, marked the epitome of the disappointment.

But that doesn't mean I can't write about smaller things, and there's one I wanted to mention today. Without internet, I've watched a little more TV in the last week. I saw Boston Legal last week, and I caught my first episode of Conviction on Tuesday.

Näyttelijä Tom Cruise hämmensi taannoin amerikkalaiset televisionkatsojat riehumalla The Oprah Winfrey Show -ohjelmassa. Hän todisteli rakkautta Katie Holmesiin hyppimällä sohvalla ja huutamalla.

So I’ve been thinking: Why does TV suck so much lately? Well, the obvious answer is that nobody knows how to write a good sitcom these days. Or make funny, clever children’s programming. I find myself watching Home and Garden TV more than ever, especially “extreme makeover:home edition”. The only grass I have seen lately is a fistful of grass I found in my bra following a late night romp with a fellow in Pearson Park a few weeks ago (read: in my dreams.)

This basically describes me and everyone I know. Let’s look at TV: there are a few people I know who will make sure they see a certain program, and make it part of their weekly routine: folding laundry while watching Desperate Housewives, for example. But for most of the people I know, there are two options:

Thanks to blogger In Jeff’s Head for pointing to the video of the closing arguments from a recent Boston Legal episode — Stick it. The episode was apparently very popular as well with the blogosphere going a bit apeshit.

From Boston Legal: after Alan and Denny haven't been speaking due to differing points of view regarding the war in Iraq.

Helene sent me this is an email this week. It seems sort of low-brow to use a show as irreverent at Boston Legal to make an essential political point, but the writers of BL really get it right here. Go here to listen to an impressive bit of writing, thinking, and acting.

My 7 year old was really angry at me last night. He thinks I am personally responsible for Mandesa getting voted off, because I didn’t waste my night calling the “idol lines.” Y’all know I am a confessed reality TV junkie. So fill me in on your shows. BTW - Flavor of Love 2 will be coming soon for those (I hate to admit) who actually watched 1 - LOL. Amazing Race - not doing it for me this season - again! Survivor - OK, Intervention - depressing but great, Surreal Life - nothing beats the season with Janice Dickinson…

Szerda erős volt, Scrubs dupla a szokásos elmebeteg poénokkal, megint volt olyan jelenet ahol sírva röhögtem, John C. McGinley for prezident. A Boston Legal szokásától eltérően meglepő fordulatot hozott Danny-vel kapcsolatban, de én akkor is csak James Spader játéka miatt nézem a sorozatot, a faszi eszelősen jó színész. Végül jött a The Shield, ami megint olyan volt, mint egy gőzhenger, feszült, fordulatos, és a vége…tátott száj effektus, ómájgád feeling, de kár, hogy már csak 2 rész, és a folytatás csak 2007 januárjában.

While Extreme Makeover: Home Edition was busy repairing their lives, HP stepped up and began repairing their hearts. Vinny summed it up best when he said,

Oprah Winfrey?!? Maybe things aren't going as well in Iraq as I thought. What's next? Demonstrations because searches are interfering with voting for American Idol?

4. For One Tree Hill to be a decent show again instead of total crap.

It features the voices of such big names as Julia Roberts, John Cleese, Steve Buscemi, Oprah Winfrey, Andre 3000, and Cedric the Entertainer.

But my free time is a tad bit more flexible these days, so when Donald Trump came on at the conclusion of last week's episode and announced that they were currently casting for next season's show, I decided that I would go for it. I downloaded the application from NBC's website and noticed that they were having an open casting call in NY on Friday. The audtions were going to be held at Trump Tower beginning at 9 a.m.--apparently wrist bands would be distributed to people about one hour before, and they asked that no one appear in line until after 6 a.m. I recalled seeing news reports from the first few seasons of thousands of people lined up around several blocks, so I figured that arriving there early was my only shot.

Nah, just kidding. Pure gossip folks but I read over on Page Six that Prince might be doing American Idol.

When all is said and done, it is remarkable how Pastor JR got one side of the coin completely right - that there is a harshness in American Idol which is nasty stuff, and how do we explain it - and CelebrityTalk picked up on something quite remarkable, too, which is the other side of the coin: Who exactly are we watching when we watch American Idol? I have my disagreements with both, but both are onto powerful lines of reasoning that explain a lot more than American Idol merely.