On Television

I'm sitting on my bed watching the West Wing on DVD - yet another series that I never got into at the time, but it's actually pretty good. I also want to start Desperate Housewives at the beginning - I've only ever seen the odd ten minutes here and there and as I didn't know who anyone was I didn't really enjoy it. Everyone raves about it though so I'll give it a go!

See, this is an IR signal jammer. That means that, once activated, the remote wont work. She’ll (ok… maybe it’s a “he’ll”, but whatever) click, and click, and wonder just why she’s unable to put it to something other than Desperate Housewives. She’ll ask you “Honey, what’s wrong with the remote?” You mumble something or other, and keep watching. Then, she’ll check the batteries and shake her head in confusion. Meanwhile, you’re still watching.

my dad called me and asked if i want to come over in the evening for dinner. it was the last thing i wanted to do. cuz it meant coming home late and thus missing desperate housewives and grey's anatomy. neither he nor tanya are able to drop me off home since they plan to drink quite a bit. means eating lamb, and i think rabbit meat was enough for me. and i just didnt really feel like going. the only reason i felt like going is cuz i could get some money out of him.

Speaking of Eva - I used to think she was the cutest on Desperate Housewives. Maybe it was because I had never heard of her before and she seemed so genuinely happy about her new success. Unfortunately, now she has gotten a little cocky for my taste and the sad part is her acting is laughable. Last night when her adopted daughter was being taken away from her I could not help but think - so this is her big story line to prove she can act and this is what it looks like - Note to Marc Cherry - time for some new blood on Wisteria Lane. Of course, Teri and Nicolette should be the first to go.

Maxim had this big stunt for their n-th birthday where they put a giant cover of their latest magazine featuring Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives in a bikini in the desert. Since most of us can't afford a fly-over, Google Earth was so nice to show an airshot. This is a screenshot how you can see Eva in Google Earth.

I can see it now. The producers and powers behind the “hit” television mundramedy “Desperate Housewives” are all sitting silent around a huge table. Suddenly, one of them quietly proposes a possible solution to the problem of slowly dwindling ratings, “How about… you know… getting someone new… you know… for the cast that can… you know… actually act?”

In the US, the media giant Disney has made the bold decision to provide several big shows - Desperate Housewives, Lost, Commander-in-Chief and Alias - as free streaming video through the ABC network’s website. Don’t get too excited about it - the website will be configured to block access from outside the US, a concession to protect the established fiefdoms of conventional television distribution. But for how long?

This basically describes me and everyone I know. Let’s look at TV: there are a few people I know who will make sure they see a certain program, and make it part of their weekly routine: folding laundry while watching Desperate Housewives, for example. But for most of the people I know, there are two options:

Then there was the Desperate Housewives commercial starring Shaq, Tony Hawk, and more professional athletes. It was clever and completely unexpected. And being the closet Housewives fan that I am, it also made me feel better about myself!

I'm out of the country at present, so take for instance the new episode of Desperate Housewives (season 2 episode 11, entitled "One More Kiss"). It aired, last night, at 9/8c. From London, I waited until 11/10c (around 5am here) and there was still no sight of a file that should have been available at 10/9c.

My favorite character on Desperate Housewives, Bree Van de Kamp, is apparently set for major alcoholism problems, as creator Marc Cherry revealed in USA Today. I guess this was bound to happen, seeing as Rex’s death and George’s death are within mere weeks of each other; add that to her already present massive neuroticism, and she just has to be looking for a way out. In some ways, using alcohol to escape doesn’t seem like a very Bree thing to do, but her behavior remains unexplained throughout these episodes, even though she is prominently featured in the most recent ones. What can I say except, “Good luck Bree”, and “Good luck Marcia Cross”?

On Sunday nights, I rest my heavy body on the longest couch in the television room catching brand new episodes of Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. My stomach is gargantuan. I am always full from the meals she prepares earlier.

First, I finished off the first season of Desperate Housewives, which is usually not my kind of show, but it ended up much better than I expected. I am a little miffed that they killed off one of my favorite characters, but the show must go on, heh.

I am going to get me some of that tea Libby gotta check that out for sure. I cannot believe I haven’t taken my meds today my daily regimen of benzos.. what and I am not feeling any withdrawls at the moment! Yay for me. Bet I swallow them down before bed, but I have to stay up and watch last weeks episode of Desperate Housewives. That is my show! I am so glad they show the previous episode on Saturdays because the last 2 Sundays its usual night for those that don’t watch it, I have missed due to a road trip for my daughter. But that is okay makes for a better weekend a Saturday and Sunday dose, hopefully I can stay up for it tomorrow because I want to stay on track and not depend on saturday night.

So I rushed to my computer and pulled up the news. A new, thinner, 30G and 60G iPod. I guess now dubbed fifth generation? This new iPod has the same sleek lines of its little buddy, the nano, but still disk based. In addition, the also released iTunes 6.0. This is just 5 weeks after they released iTunes 5.0. I haven’t had a chance to download the newest version to see if it makes finding podcasts difficult again. There were some hiccups when iTunes 5 was released. The new iTunes has the video features. Disney and Apple have agreed to make episodes of Lost, Desperate Housewives, Nightstalker in addition to That’s So Raven and The Suite Life, both from the Disney Channel. You will be able to download the new episodes the day after it airs and costs a mere $1.99 per episode. I’m hoping this means I can take all my Divx mpeg movies and somehow convert them to play in iTunes. Imagine, being able to watch Stargate SG1 or porn (just kidding) anywhere!

The West Wing is a parallel universe to TV's Wisteria Lane: instead of self-indulgent desperate housewives wary of sexy nannies, there are self-sacrificing, buttoned-up nannies serving as adoring work wives, catering to W.'s every political, legal and ego-affirming need.

I have finally ditched Desperate Housewives. In fact, I only watched up to Episode Five of Season 1. After that, they are getting boring. I don’t like to live in fantasy world like Wisteria Lane. I don’t want to be reminded how imperfect I am.

Desperate Housewives is starting this weekend, and that has me excited. I used to watch it online back when I was travelling a lot. I would download a few episodes, put them on my computer and then watch them on the plane flying somewhere over Canada. I haven’t downloaded any shows in the past six months, and really I don’t think I’ll do it again. It just seems like too much hassle to find them, make sure they work, and then watch them. I could really handle a hassle free life for while.

I’ll no doubt make some comments on NZ TV soon. I’ve only got four channels so I can’t say much. They’re just running Desperate Housewives and the last season of 24, which is the typical lag time here. I’m thinking I’ll start writing something about Bittorrent and the way in which it’s affecting local television schedules (as well as the hype-building machinations of the European and North American broadcasters). We’ll see, but as it’s the way I keep up with the Daily Show, etc., it seems like a good new direction to go with things.

I do wonder about one more thing…..Are our Malaysian Ah Sohs, Ah Sahms, Mak Cik, Ah Chee (is that how you address auntie in Tamil?) and ‘dan lain-lain’ aunties going to ape the Desperate Housewives? Hmmm…then, major disaster! Everyone of us, including me, need to go for Botox, breast augmentation, sexual counsellings (who knows how many Brees we have amongst us?), nose jobs, eyebrow embroidery and spulrge on L’Oreal costmetics.

But ironically, in the information age, there is apparently too much information. Too much distraction. Stories lack the resonance they once would of had. Perhaps people are not dumbed down, so much as suffering from a cultural attention deficit. Hmm, the president was up to something bad ... now what was it? Wait, it's time for Desperate Housewives. How else to explain the lack of reaction?

Hong says that I think too much. Maybe I'm like Lynette Scavo in Desperate Housewives, where I'm constantly waiting for the "misfortune" to happen, cos I'm certain it will. But when it does, I'll be really upset about it.

Eva Longoria is on the fast track to stardom with her return to primetime as the star of the new ABC series Desperate Housewives, where she portrays Latin sexpot Gabrielle Solis. Just voted by Variety as one of the “Ten New Faces to Watch” this Fall, as well as one of USA Today’s “Fall TV’s Hot 11″ and TV Guide’s “New Faces of Fall,” Longoria also co-stars in the recent CBS movie-of-the-week The Dead Will Tell.

It’s a great concept. TV executives would benefit, because they would gain a meaningful afterlife for all the shows they have spent millions to produce - and then broadcast only once. You would benefit, too, because if you missed some episode of “Desperate Housewives” or “The Amazing Race,” you could just hop over to your set-top box and download away. It would be like the video-swapping made possible today by software like BitTorrent, but the service would be legal.

Desperate Housewives - What can I say? This show is always unexpected and entertaining. It’s cleverly written with a cast of very different women. I watched one episode and got addicted. I like to watch this show with a glass or two of wine for some reason.

Eva Longoria has been bombarded with hundreds of vibrators by obsessed fans. The 'Desperate Housewives' star confessed that ever since she mentioned sex toys were fun, her post box has been flooded with parcels of X-rated aids.

The actress recently confessed that her hard peaks had to be digitally removed from several clips in her hit series, “Desperate Housewives”, costing the producers thousands of dollars.

But before the Christian Right discovers this gold mine, advertisers are already one step ahead of them. And they’ve taken aim at every desperate suburban housewife. Giant Food, the biggest grocery store chain in the Baltimore-Washington metro area, is presently airing this commercial (Quicktime Movie, 1.3 MB). Does it sound familiar? Here’s a clip from Desperate Housewives for comparison (Quicktime Movie, 1.8 MB).

Desperate Housewives wrapped up the season-long question behind Mary Alice's suicide in the first episode along with a few other items, but left others open and left us with a whole bunch of new ones for next season. Will Bree be blamed for Rex's death? Will Zach kill Mike when he walks in the house, not knowing Mike is probably his father? Will Carlos go away for a very long time, leaving Gabby and her young lover John to work out their future and that of the baby she is carrying? Who is the new woman and her son that just moved in on Wisteria Lane?

Everyone was talking about how Desperate Housewives shouldn't let go of too many secrets within the first season. Here it is the end of that season and we've found out some major things, yet, creator Marc Cherry still manages to keep us in suspense with a fantastic cliffhanger.

If producers of ABC's hit show "Desperate Housewives" get their way, the ladies of Wisteria Lane could be getting a new neighbor—or at least a visit from the famous resident of another tastefully decorated house. First Lady Laura Bush is reportedly in negotiations to make several cameo appearances when the show begins its second season next fall.

Desperate Housewives- We’re about 4 episodes behind but now that ‘Jack and Bobby’ is done, we’ll catch up, hopefully in time for this Sunday where I HEAR (spoiler!) that Gabrielle and her gardener are found out by her husband. Can you SEE the violence?? Exciting…

Exclusive strategies are being planned for converging existing media content with the new platform. A California based mobile content distributor, Go TV, which is among Fortune’s list of 25 breakout companies for the year, is providing a three-minute recap of the Desperate Housewives. So, if the next time you miss a show, just download a recap before the next episode is broadcasted.

Blogger Ntro envisions the "media station" of the future: a computer hooked up to your TV which uses RSS to download television as it becomes available, but not just episodes of Desperate Housewives. Ntro writes,

I am, thanks to my wife, a dedicated follower of Desperate Housewives. I am also a huge fan of Family Guy, which has just been re-premiered across from Desperate Housewives.

I think that placing these two show opposite of each other was actually a great move for FOX, in my mind splitting the male and female audience. Unfortunately Desperate Housewives has earned my loyalty. But that is why God made TiVo.

Fortune magazine has named GoTV Networks, a company that provides videos for cellular phones, as one of the top 25 "breakout companies."

The Fortune article says:

Did you miss Desperate Housewives on Sunday? Don't worry. Soon GoTV, a creator and distributor of mobile content, will make it possible for you to switch on your cellphone and watch a three-minute recap of the show.

On a vaguely related tangent, did anyone watch "Desperate Housewives" last night? The taboo against abortion on TV makes for some pretty retarded storylines. Gabrielle got pregnant because her husband tampered with her birth control pill, and even though she doesn't know who the father is and even though her husband is going to jail for eight months, she never even brings up the word "abortion".

"Six Feet Under"'s fifth and final season will debut on June 6 and, unlike just about every other HBO original series in history, it will air original episodes on Monday (encores from the previous week will air on Sundays). Supposedly the move is due to a desire to HBO to "expand its brand" beyond Monday- either that, or they're deathly afraid of "Desperate Housewives" re-runs.

That was one of the great lines of the evening on Desperate Housewives as the story arc regarding Andrew's coming out unfolds. I'm really liking where this is going and it was a wonderful episode to showcase Marcia Cross's and Shawn Pyfrom's acting and the development of their characters. As Cross mentioned in a recent USA Today article, Bree is coming from a place of love, no matter how misguided it might be. Bree is not full of one-dimensional one liners like "and the word is not gay, it's sodomy." She really believes that Andrew will not go to heaven and that she cannot bare it if he wasn't there with her. Cross says the lines with such conviction that it's almost beautiful, even though, in real life, I would hate that message and hate Bree for saying it.

Since we're still waiting for new Gilmore Girls episodes, and we haven't gotten into this season of The Amazing Race, there hasn't been much television to watch. Then, a few weeks ago, we were home on a Saturday night and turned on the TV. ABC was showing back-to-back reruns of Desperate Housewives. We watched it, and thought the show was pretty decent. Not great, but decent. Then we watched it the next night. And the following week. And the following. And now we're hooked.

Even before recently watching my first episode of ABC's ''Desperate Housewives," I already knew two things about the Sunday night series. It's this television season's biggest new hit, and its stars hate one another.

The ladies of th Sunol, California, homeowners' association would like to express their concern over the lack of cable television access in the Sunol Regional Wilderness park. The ladies would very much like to catch up on past episodes of CSI and Desperate Housewives. They also have some shopping to do on HSN. The ladies hereby warn the public that if they do not get what they want, they may spend even more time sleeping that would be considered prudent. Thank you for your attention.

One of the great contradictions of modern American life is that almost everyone watches television while almost no one agrees anymore about what it really means to watch television. True, we know that as spring gets under way, new episodes of ''Desperate Housewives'' and ''C.S.I.'' and ''American Idol'' will battle for prime-time supremacy in the overnight Nielsen ratings. We also know that local broadcast stations around the country will begin scheming -- just as they do every April -- to win the May sweeps, the tense weeks when rival stations pursue a fierce one-upmanship of flamboyance and hype and the Nielsen-measured audience sizes determine future advertising rates. But when it comes to figuring out how many of us are watching these shows, and whether we're paying attention while we're watching and even whether we're actually noticing the advertisements among the shows we may or may not be watching -- well, this is where things get tricky.

We spent yesterday (Monday) evening together again. I cooked a simple meal of pasta with a creamy ham and mushroom sauce and we watched "Desperate Housewives" and "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on telly. But we wouldn't see each other for a week now. He's leaving for Melbourne this (Tuesday) afternoon for a conference and then he's off to Tasmania to do something that he needs to do - part of his melodramas, and my concerns. He comes back to Canberra on Saturday night but will then go to Sydney Sunday morning to attend to another...

Oh lord, I'm going on a diet tomorrow. So for my last supper I'm having a burger, fries, and cake for dessert. Then I'm going to watch Desperate Housewives and during the entire episode, I'm going to envision my head on Eva Longoria's body.

And to top everything off on this amazing weekend, tonight's Desperate Housewives was outstanding. We finally learned who Dana was, Max Van de Kamp dropped the g-bomb on his parents, and the hottest gardener ever returned to bone Gabrielle again. What an episode!